New York, NY - May 16, 10:31 p.m.: My brother arrived in New York in April with nothing more than an Upper East Side lease in his hand and the Brooks Brother shirt on his back. He didn't come to New York by his own volition, but he soon found his niche, becoming a fixture on the sports-bar circuit. Never a Keystone's throw away from a wing special and a pitcher of flat beer, he found that he could tolerate New York, even if it barely tolerated him (see his performance at my party in November when he passed out on my laptop and I had to chase him out the door with a bag of empty beer bottles). We're not sure what 2004 will hold for him, but we'd lay $20 that it includes a bar fight, 35 lbs. of mozzarella sticks and more Purple Hooter shots than you can shake a Theta at.